A Woofer In Tweeter’s Clothing

Tracklisting

01. Girl From Germany
02. Nothing Is Sacred
03. Beaver O'Lindy
04. Here Comes Bob
05. Moon Over Kentucky
06. Do Re Mi
07. Angus Desire
08. Underground
09. The Louvre
10. Batteries Not Included
11. Whippings And Apologies



Reviews

'Sounded like a musical burlesque of Visconti's 'The Damned' (Nick Kent, NME, 25 May 1974)

'A Woofer is absolutely depraved, manic, beano, and the sleeper of the year in the creative department. (They)...shoulda been Beardsley's house band...a music that is truly without precedent. 'A Woofer' might be the first neo-Dada concept album...Not a single recognizable riff on the whole album, not a single hackneyed phrase, A Woofer is the weirdest fucking album of 1973 from America's most advanced band...' (Dan DeWitt, Creem, 1973)

'A bit like a jack-in-the-box that plays the Beach Boys greatest hits and then bops you over the head with a fifteen-pound mallet' (Dick Johnson, 1972)




Lyrics

01. Girl From Germany (Ron & Russell Mael)

How I wished my folks were gracious hosts and not dismayed
But wit and wisdom take a backseat when you’re that afraid
Oh no, bring her home and the folks look ill
My word, they can't forget, they never will
They can hear the storm troops on our lawn when I show her in
And the Fuhrer is alive and well in our panelled den
Oh no, bring her home and the folks look ill
Oh no, they can't forget that war, what a war
Oh no, she's from Germany
It’s the same old country but the people have changed
My word, she's from Germany
With its splendid castles and fine cuisine
The car I drive is parked outside, its German-made
They resent that less than people who are German-made
Oh no, bring her home and the folks look ill
Oh no, they can't forget that war, what a war
Oh no, she's from Germany
It's the same old country but the people have changed
Oh no, she's from Germany
With its splendid castles, its fine cuisine,
its lovely German women and its wonderful
rivers that do flow from her hills
My word she's from Germany
Well its the same old country but the people have changed
My word, she's from Germany
With its splendid castles and its fine cuisine
My word she's from Germany
Well its the same old country but the people have changed
My word she's from Germany
With its splendid castles, its fine cuisine
its lovely German women and you and me

02. Nothing Is Sacred (Ron Mael)

NOTHING...no nothing, IS...is, SACRED
...no sacred, ANY MORE
Adding some of this to some of that Madame Science wins again
We are now forever people, we'll outlive our will to live
Nothing is sacred any more
Nothing is sacred any more
Nothing is sacred any more
I remember when I needed you several billion years ago
If you’ll hang on just a trifle more I might need you once again
I am sure you will appreciate your new found leisure time
I am sure we will appreciate our new found leisure time
Nothing is sacred any more
Nothing is sacred any more
Nothing is sacred any more
Nothing is sacred any more
If you have the money I've got time
If you know a honey I've got time
Nothing is sacred any more
Nothing is sacred any more
Nothing is sacred any more...(ad infinitum)

03. Beaver O'Lindy (Ron & Russell Mael, Earle Mankey, Jim Mankey, Harley Feinstein)

I'm one minute older and I'm doing all right
I'll gain valuable experience in front of you tonight
They say my voice is going to change
I'm one minute older and I'm doing all right
I'll gain valuable experience with you tonight
They say my voice is going to change
It cracks like Arctic ice-floes then it croaks like old-folks homes
B-E-A-V-E-R O-L-I-N-D-Y
I'm the London that is dead, I'm the boy in your bed
B-E-A-V-E-R O-L-I-N-D-Y
Sure you've seen me before,
No doubt you'll see much more
I'm the girl in your head, but the boy in your bed
I'm the trashman’s valet, the words that you say
You've seen me before, you'll see much more
I'm as big as can be, as big as TV
I'm the words that you say, the words that you say
I'm the trashman’s valet, the words that you say
You've seen me before, you'll see much more
Well I'm as big as can be, as big as TV
I'm your wallet-sized friend, your wallet-sized friend
The London that’s dead, the London that’s dead
Well you've seen me before, you'll see much more
I'm as big as can be, as big as TV
B-E-A-V-E-R O-L-I-N-D-Y
I'm the girl in your head, but the boy in your bed
B-E-A-V-E-R O-L-I-N-D-Y
Sure you've seen me before, no doubt you'll see much more

04. Here Comes Bob (Ron & Russell Mael)

When I spot a driver worth a second glance
Foot to floorboard, impact soon achieved
Here comes Bob, I ain’t subtle in my ways of making friends
Girl this rubbled mess was caused by my neglect
Of course I'll pay and by the way my dear
Here comes Bob, I ain't subtle in my ways of making friends
Sometimes I will stoop to hitting two-door coupes without the frills
But that is just for casual acquaintances, for stripped-down thrills
Your car girl or mine it doesn’t matter, doesn’t matter no
But for affairs with staying power I go after limousines
Its always nice if something big is acting as your go-between
And for a group encounter I'll hit busses, mobile homes or trains to
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
It's hard to make acquaintances in our big town
Most eyes stare at nothing much at all
But here comes Bob
I ain’t subtle in my ways of making friends, friends, acquaintances
Instant adulation comes to some at birth
Born to queens or corporate entities
But here comes Bob
Someday they’ll put me away
Ill think back on active days
Most were worth the minor cars
Some were worth the damaged cars
And the judge will say to me
'Bob, you’ve got a bad means to a worthwhile end.'
Well, here comes Bob

05. Moon Over Kentucky (Jim Mankey, Ron Mael)

I heard somewhere that they’re stamping, trampling all upon you
Your pocked face remains impassive though I know it hurts you
Moon over Kentucky
Take me with you,
Full moon over Kentucky
Leave this mooring and seek some new rendezvous
Cut your ties with this possessive mother, she’ll destroy you
Cut your ties and find another one who will respect you
Moon over Kentucky
Take me with you,
Full moon over Kentucky
Leave this mooring and seek some new rendezvous
You’ve been waiting for your first encounter, what a letdown
I'm just finishing my first encounter, what a letdown
Moon over Kentucky
Take me with you,
Full moon over Kentucky
Leave this mooring and seek some new rendezvous

06. Do Re Mi (Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II)

Do, a deer, a female deer
Re, a smiling drop of sun
Mi, the name I call myself
Fa, a long long way to run
So, a needle pulling thread
La, the note that follows So
Ti, the drink I have with my bread
Which would bring us back to Do

07. Angus Desire (Ron & Russell Mael)

See private parts in public school
They look so odd, try something else
Unnatural acts, consent implied
No one objects to Angus Desire
No interviews please, no interviews please
Life’s not so free for stockyard femme fatale
Nor is my life carefree and serene
All this comes free with Angus Desire
Summer heat ebbs, romance denied
Its back to school, that good-old college try
Why don’t you stay with your own kind
Lets not admire Angus Desire
(Angus in the summer waltzing with her friends)

08. Underground (Earle Mankey)

Why don't you please go with me underground
Down under seas, you and me underground
Once I dreamed I was on a basement tape
Took in just one take
Oh Lord, we gained our world distribution by relevant means
Jazz folk-rock fusion appealed to the teens
Oh won’t you please go with me underground
Where love is free and supergroups can be found
Take the plunge now deep into the earth
Where heavy sets do lurk
Oh you and I and mystery follows close at our heels
Whispering secrets and travelling concealed
Down under cities and roots of the trees
Oh how I love you in times such as these
We shall sail off over rainbows till we spy the lands that come together
Smiles will greet us, heads will turn to meet
us as we make the scene, as we make the scene
Oh won’t you please go with me underground
Oh won’t you please follow me underground
Oh won’t you please please please

09. The Louvre (Ron Mael)

Le guide me montre et explique
'Celui ci est le changement.'
Les touristes s’en donnent a coeur jolie
Ils touchent mon marbre froid
Mais mes yeux sont fixer sur la porte
Je sais pourtant que j’dois rester
Parmis tous ces heros tues
Protegeant leur liberte de vivre dans des musees
Mais mes yeux sont fixer sur la porte
Essayer donc de m’enlever
Je voudrais voir si vous oser
Quelqu’un a entendu ma supplique
Depuis quelques heures, je vole
Mais a l’aurore elle me quitteras
Et les murs se refermeront sur moi
Il ne restera plus que le marbre froid
The tourist guide explains my aims
'This one’s a monument to change.'
The tourists do marvel, they touch my cold marble
But my eyes are fixed upon the door
Let’s see you lift me
I dare you to try
Let’s see you lift me
I dare you to try

10. Batteries Not Included (Ron Mael)

I brought it home and I opened it up
And a smile came to my face for the first time in a while
Yes a smile came to my face for the first time in a while
I turned it on
But nothing happened when I did
Nothing happened at all
I kicked it down the stairs
I threw it at the wall
Hey kid, batteries not included

11. Whippings And Apologies (Ron Mael)

Whippings and apologies
Over and over they did it to her when she disagreed
Whippings and apologies
Over and over and over and over
And you know that that’s not right
For she has holy water running through her veins
And now it’s me that she hates, it’s me that she hates



Credits

A Woofer In Tweeter's Clothing:
Produced and Engineeered by Thaddeus James Lowe
Vocals: Russell Mael
Keyboards: Ron Mael
Guitar: Earle Mankey
Guitar and Bass: Jim Mankey
Drums: Harley Feinstein
Album Design: Ron Mael
Photography: Larry Dupont