Cannes Festival Announcer:
Mesdames et messieurs! Le Prix de l’humour poétique du festival du film de Cannes 1956 est décerné à Ingmar Bergman pour Sourires d’une nuit d’été!
Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of the 1956 Cannes film festival Best Poetic Humour Award is Ingmar Bergman’s Smiles of a Summer Night!
Mina damer och herrar – Priset för bästa komedi vid 1956 års filmfestival I Cannes går till Ingmar Bergmans Sommarnattens leende.

Ingmar Bergman:
I am Ingmar Bergman.
You may or may not know my films.
You may or may not know anything about me as a person.
Still, the strange events following the warm and unexpected reception to my film Smiles Of A Summer Night are something that no one has known about---until now.
Good, Evil, God, the Devil, Life, Death---these were my usual concerns. This film, though, was a comedy. A comedy! How far from a comedy the events to follow would be.
Have you ever felt compelled to do something against your will?
I have. I have.
You see, I have a total disdain for escapist art, and yet why, on that cold May afternoon in Stockholm in 1956, did I feel the need to enter that movie theater to see escapist art of the worst sort, a typical American action film…well, the title is not what is important. What is important is that I felt compelled to watch that film, against my will, for 90 long minutes.
Why?
Was it the urge to partake of something mindless?
Was it the urge to indulge in something vacuous?
Was it the urge to do something…unlike Ingmar Bergman.
And, as the film finally ended, I walked to the exit as quickly as I could and onto the street---but not the street I expected.
“What is this? Where am I?”
Limo Driver:
Mr. Bergman, sir, welcome to Hollywood.
Your limousine awaits. Please, get in. Watch your head.

Limo Driver:
Mr. Bergman, sir, welcome to our town
Hollywood is here for you, I got a feeling you will love our town.
Ingmar Bergman:
Excuse me, where are we going? I am Ingmar Bergman! What am I doing here?
Limo Driver:
Lovely weather, sir. Like a little air? Maybe it’s too warm for you, I know you’re used to really frigid air.
Ingmar Bergman:
Excuse me, where are we going? I am Ingmar Bergman! What am I doing here? I am Ingmar Bergman! I demand to know where we’re going.
Limo Driver:
Have you ever seen Hollywood before? If it is your first time well I, hope we’re gonna see you lots lots more.
Ingmar Bergman:
Listen, I am Ingmar Bergman! I demand to know where we’re going!
Limo Driver:
Have a pleasant stay. Guess you travelled far. Here we are, the studio, I’ll phone and tell them we’re not very far.
“Yes we’re passing through the studio gates right now. It won’t be long.”
Someone will be down. Take you right upstairs. Have a pleasant afternoon.
I love your films, they have a foreign flair.

The Studio Chief:
Here he is now.
Here he is now
Here he is now
Here he is now
Small talk at first
Here he is now
Speak slow at first
Here he is now
Joke that he needs a tan
Here he is now
Watch what is said
Here he is now
He is well read
Here he is now
Praise both the work and the man
Here he is now
We’ll be polite
Here he is now
Firm but polite
Here he is now
Just feel things out and go from there
Here he is now

The Studio Chief:
Mr. Bergman, let me welcome you to Hollywood and to HollywoodAmerican Studio
Svenson will translate for us and I hope not add any zeros in the process!
Mr. Bergman, how are you?
Herr Bergman, hur står det till?
Something we can get for you?
Kan vi bjuda er på något?
Some Ramlosa, like some ice?
Lite Ramlösa, önskas is?
My name’s Gerald Geoffrey Weiss
Jag heter Gerald Geoffrey Weiss
To your right is Mr. Brown.
Här till höger har vi mr Brown,
Mr. Clay, and Mrs. Down
mr Clay och mrs Down
I know you know English, true
Jag vet att ni kan engelska
Svensson här tolkar ändå
Allt till svenska för er skull
Svensson, though, will translate, too
Into Swedish, just for you
Into Swedish, just for you
Mr. Bergman, we’re not hicks
Herr Bergman, vi är inga bönder
But we must deliver kicks
Men vi måste skapa underhållning
Still there is some middle ground
Men det finns förhandlingsmån
Hollywood can be your town
We will never let you down
Let me cut right to the chase
Låt mig gå rakt på sak
We need you to help erase
Vi behöver er hjälp att sudda ut
Image problems, self-imposed
självförvållade imageproblem
Art and commerce, never close
You can bring us both of those
Works of art can also work
Ett konstverk kan gå hem
For some Midwest creepy jerk
Hos idioterna på landet
In return we’ll pay your way
I gengäld betalar vi vad vad det kostar
Make the film in your own way
All the way you’ll have your say
Monika, now that was great
Monika var fantastisk
Summer Interlude, so great,
Sommarlek likaså
Were you just a bit surprised
Blev ni inte lite förvånad
Cannes gave you that special prize
Get dear Ingmar some more ice
Smiles of A Summer Night
Sommarnattens leende
Hope I got the title right
Hoppas jag fick titeln rätt
Why not take a quantum leap
Det är dags att ta nästa steg
You still haven’t hit your peak
We can help you reach your peak
Think it over, overnight
Sov på saken
Do what you think’s really right
Gör det ni tror är det rätta
You help us and we help you
Hjälp oss och vi hjälper er
More Ramlosa, well adieu
Well adieu
Här Ramlösa. Tack, adjö

Ingmar Bergman:
I just need to think this over.
The Studio Chief:
No problem, Mr. Bergman. I’ll show you to the door.
The limousine’s waiting downstairs.
(Bergman leaves office.)
I think that went very well.
He’ll come ‘round
They always do
He’ll come ‘round
It’s nothing new
He’ll come ‘round
‘Cause in the end they all come ‘round
He’ll come ‘round
He’ll think a while
Then he’ll come ‘round
But we’ll just smile
He’ll come ‘round
Knowing that he’ll come around
He’ll come ‘round
He’ll play his game
But he’ll come ‘round
They’re all the same
He’ll come ‘round
I have a hunch that he’ll come’ round
He’ll come ‘round

Limo Driver:
Mr. Bergman, sir, again, your limousine awaits. I’m here to drive you to your hotel--- the fabulous Beverly Hills Hotel. Please, get in.
Was your meeting great?
Ingmar Bergman:
Yes
Limo Driver:
Sorry, hit the curb. Like a little music?...
Ingmar Bergman:
No!
Limo Driver:
Very well, sir, mum is now the word.
Ingmar Bergman:
As foolish as I may find these people, I must not be hasty. I’ve never had the luxury of a true budget. Actors are actors. Crews are crews. Language, however, is not language. How would I do working in English? Hollywood movie music is an abomination. Method acting is ridiculous. Celebrity is destructive. I must think.
Limo Driver:
Here we are, at last. Home away from home. Finest hotel in our town, it’s European, Paris-style, or Rome.
Pleasant afternoon.
Ingmar Bergman:
Thank you.
Limo Driver:
Get a little rest.
Ingmar Bergman:
I will.
Limo Driver:
I’ll be back tomorrow, they’ve said pick you up at 10, that’s their request.

“Hollywood Welcoming Committee”:
May I come in?
Ingmar Bergman:
Who are you?
“Hollywood Welcoming Committee”
I am the Hollywood Welcoming Committee. May I sit down?
Blatant attempt, I must say, by those who desire you to stay
Knowing that you’ve a weakness for the girls
So Mr. Bergman, Mr. B, how ‘bout a cup of herbal tea
You’ve had a stressful day, time to unwind, so unwind
No, let us talk not of films but of your life in Bev’ly Hills
And of your freedom to get all things right
Never a compromise for you, budgets for what you want to do
Crews that can read your mind and work all night
Work all night
Tell me how best to make my case, any ol’ way or face to face
I can persuade you given enough time
So Mr. Bergman, Mr. B, you haven’t touched your herbal tea
Here, let me help you, you need to unwind, to feel fine…
To feel fine...

Hotel Operator:
Good morning Mr. Bergman, this is your wakeup call.
The limousine will be downstairs in 45 minutes.
Have a wonderful day.
Ingmar Bergman:
I’ve got to contact Sweden.
I’ve got to contact Sweden.
I’ve got to contact Sweden
I’ve got to contact Sweden.
Operator, I would like to place a call to Sweden. How do I get an international line?
Hotel Operator:
Sweden. Sweden. How are you spelling that? Sorry. We have a Spain and a Tasmania. No Sweden.
Ingmar Bergman:
I’ve got to contact Sweden.
I’ve got to contact Sweden.
I’ve got to contact Sweden.
I’ve got to contact Sweden.

The Studio Chief:
Well, Mr. Bergman, have you made your decision?
But before you answer, perhaps you are hungry. Let’s go into the commissary.
Ah, Ingmar Bergman, look around, and hear the happy happy sound
Directors of all size and shapes are eating steak and munching cake
Directors of a foreign stripe who’ve done quite well, see if they gripe
Their vision made it here unscathed, none felt a whore, none felt he caved
Ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ah, Billy Wilder, sure you say, he had to come, no other way,
But Sunset Boulevard and such, I’d say we let him keep his touch
And there, Fritz Lang, an émigré, who managed to do films his way
Perhaps less stylized, so true, but then Fritz Lang, he isn’t you
Ha ha ha ha ha ha
And Alfred Hitchcock, bless his soul, there chomping on a dinner roll,
The Man Who Knew Too Much done twice, in Hollywood, done twice as nice
And Jacques Tourneur, Cat People, great, Simone Simon, right here, so great
And Murnau, genius just like you, made Sunrise, top ten in my view
Of all the films made anywhere and yet he made it here not there
And Elgar Ulmer made Detour, a classic if you love film noir
Von Sternberg’s eating all alone, let’s say hello, hey, Josef, phone!
The point I guess is all had fears, the fears you have, these noble peers
And one could quibble which was best their Old World work or work out west
The differences are subtle, though, the language, sure, but still you know
That English is the common tongue of cinema, when said or sung
Ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha
So please, dear Ingmar, think tonight, be sure the choice you make is right
But there’s a table, have a seat, and here’s a menu, bon appetit

Ingmar Bergman:
I must not be hasty.
My first inclination would be to tell them to go to Hell, but I must not be hasty.
My first inclination is to tell them they don’t deserve an artist of my stature, but I must not be hasty.
I’ve struggled all my life for money for my films and the one thing these people have is money, so I must not be hasty.
Perhaps I could be one of the lucky ones who survive in Hollywood. So I must not be hasty. I must not be hasty.

Ingmar Bergman:
Actors are actors anywhere and yet what I fear is a Hollywood starlet not understanding my temperament on the set.
(Hear imaginary film shoot in Hollywood)
First A.D.:
Quiet on the set! Unnamed Ingmar Bergman Production- Take One
Ingmar Bergman:
Action….Cut! No, no, no, no, no!
First A.D.:
Quiet! Unnamed Ingmar Bergman Production- Take Two
Ingmar Bergman:
And action....Cut.
And again. Cut. No, No!
Quiet. Action…Cut. Let me explain what I’m trying to achieve and see if you can understand.
Let me explain what I’m trying to achieve and see if you can understand.

Hollywood Starlet:
Who do you think you are
Why do you take that tone with me
Why do you take that tone with me
Here I am the star
I’ve never been treated this shamefully
(So) Why do you take that tone with me
Arthouse resumé
Why do you take that tone with me
Why do you take that tone with me
Save it for some Swede
Never employ that tone with me
Never employ that tone with me
Why should I have to share
A crisis that you feel inside
An anger that’s an ocean wide
Such a lack of flair
I’ve never been treated this shamefully
Why do you take that tone with me
Why do you take that tone with me
Who do you think you are
Why do you take that tone with me
Why do you take that tone with me
Somewhere you’re the star
(But) never when you are near to me
Why do you take that tone with me
I’ve never been treated this shamefully
(So) why do you take that tone with me
You never again will work with me
Why do you take that tone with me
So, why do you take that tone with me

Hotel Operator:
It’s your wakeup call
Breakfast, sir, is on its way
Hope you have a pleasant day
Good day
Hotel Concierge:
Mr. Bergman, sir
Going for a stroll, I see
Sun is out, please leave your key
With me

Ingmar Bergman:
That Hollywood tour bus is certainly following me closely.
Hollywood Tour Guide:
Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the Hollywood Tour Bus Line.
Ah, we’re in luck!
To your right you’ll see Mr. Ingmar Bergman, yes, the great director
Looking though he’s lost in his thoughts, as he often does, let’s pull up just a little closer and see if he’ll give us a big Swedish hello.
Rumor has it that Bergman’s here in high level talks with a major motion picture studio to begin what would be his first of many, many English language films made in our sunny climate.
We can only hope that the sun doesn’t burn the trademark Scandinavian gloom out of his outlook.
That’s why we love him!
(Ingmar, you’re a genius!).
Give Ingmar a wave!
That’s why we love him!
(Ingmar, you’re a genius!).
Give Ingmar a wave!
(Ingmar, you’re a genius!).
That’s why we love him!
Give Ingmar a wave!
(Ingmar, you’re a genius!).

Ingmar Bergman:
Who are all these people?
What do they want?
Autograph hounds:
Over here!
Over here!
Over here!
Can we have your autograph?
Over here!
Over here!
Over here!
Can we have your autograph?
Over here!
Over here!
Over here!
Gerry:
Would you sign your photo please
Make it out
Make it out
Make it out
To Gerry with a “G”
Over here!
Over here!
Over here!
Can we have your autograph?
Over here!
Over here!
Over here!
Can we have your autograph?
Over here!
Over here!
Over here!
Woody:
Would you sign my T-shirt, please?
Make it out, make it out
Make it out to Woody, Ingmar, please
Ingmar Bergman:
I’ve got to get back to my hotel room
I’ve got to get back to my hotel room
I’ve got to get back to my hotel room
I’ve got to get back to my hotel room
Hotel Concierge:
Welcome back to the fabulous Beverly Hills Hotel!
Mr. Bergman, sir, some Hollywood hospitality
Seems to have come to you, I see, ah, me,
Your key.
Ingmar Bergman:
I’ve got to get out of here!

Ingmar Bergman:
I’ve often portrayed nightmares in my films. But this is a nightmare of a different sort.
I have to escape this nightmare. I must return to where I came from.
I’ve often portrayed hopelessness in my films. But this is a hopelessness of a different sort. I must escape here and return home.
This Hollywood is not a place, it’s a sensibility, a sensibility at complete odds with my sensibility.
I’ve often portrayed loss of identity in my films, but I’ve never felt that loss of identity myself.
I must escape.
They admire what I represent too much to cause me any bodily harm if I try to escape.
Still, I don’t even know what escape means when the place you are escaping from is more of an idea than a physical location.
Escape is too logical of a concept.
Perhaps if I go downstairs without being seen and just continue walking, escape may come as quickly as this form of imprisonment has come.

The Studio Chief:
We’ve got to turn him ‘round
Not let him let us down
We’ve got to turn him ‘round
Not let him turn us down, not let him turn us down
How could he be so small
To turn us down, so small
How could he be so small to turn us down at all
He’s great, but not that great
He thinks he has a choice in all this
He thinks he has a choice in all this
He thinks he has a choice in all this
We’ve offered him the moon
Rejected us like goons
And all the while unfazed, his eyes were dull and glazed
But all that’s in the past
He really has some gall
To turn us down at all
He really has some gall to turn us down at all
Is anyone that great?
Let’s see how well he does without us
He’ll see that he is lost without us
He’ll never be that great without us

Ingmar Bergman:
Ah, the concierge has spotted me
Hotel Concierge:
Mr. Bergman, sir, going for a stroll, I see. Sun is out, please leave your key with me.
Ingmar Bergman:
Uh, yes.
The Door Man:
Have a good day, Mr. Bergman!
Ingmar Bergman:
They’re after me!
They’re after me!
They’re after me!
They’re after me!
Policeman 1:
Bergman leaves hotel
Shall we follow quietly
Male Caucasian, yes, it’s he, we see.
Policeman 2:
Follow quietly
Bring him in without a scene
He can be a drama queen, no scene.
Ingmar Bergman:
They’re after me!
They’re after me!
They’re after me!
They’re after me!
They’re after me!
They’re after me!
Got to get away
I can tell it’s me they want
I can tell it’s me they hunt, their prey
Policeman 2:
Units 1 through 10
Do not let him get away
Grab him you’ll get extra pay, today.
Policeman 1:
He’s picked up his pace
He’s aware that we are here
We should grab him now, I fear, too late
Ingmar Bergman:
They’re after me!
They’re after me!
They’re after me!
They’re after me!
They’re after me!
They’re after me!
They’re after me!
They’re after me!
Policeman 1:
He’s picked up his pace
He’s aware that we are here
We should grab him now, I fear, too late
Ingmar Bergman:
Got to get away.
I can tell it’s me they want.
I can tell it’s me they hunt, their prey.

Policeman 1:
Calling every unit, every unit respond
Don’t let him out of your sight
He won’t be running too long
Policeman 2:
I can see him up ahead, a gray sweater on
And if he doesn’t respond
What sort of force should we don?
Policeman 1:
Only as a last resort should force be applied
And don’t allow him to hide
They want him taken alive
Policeman 1 and Policeman 2:
Only as a last resort should force be applied
And don’t allow him to hide
They want him taken alive
Ingmar Bergman:
More and more police cars after me and I don’t even know where I’m running. It’s not as if I’ll see a sign saying ‘Sweden-This Way.’
Policeman 1:
Mr. Bergman, give it up, you’ll never escape
You have no hope and no prayer
You sure ain’t going nowhere
Ingmar Bergman:
I can’t let them catch me. This place is death to me. This place is death to me. This place is death to me.
Policeman 1:
Calling every helicoptor, follow that man
if he don’t understand
Bring in a translator, man.
And refrain from shooting just as long as you can
But if it needs to be done
Well, you all carry a gun.
Ingmar Bergman:
Helicoptors! What next! I am now an actor in a bad big budget Hollywood action film.
Policeman 2:
Captain we’ve lost sight of him, no there he is now
He’s stopped, he’s wiping his brow
Wait, he’s now running I vow
We won’t let him get away, he’s heading due west
And who would ever have guessed
He’d be this big of a pest
Ingmar Bergman:
I’ve got to run! I’ve got to run! I’ve got to run! I’ve got to run!
Policeman 1:
Coptors, fire rockets, we are losing his trail
We cannot let this plan fail
The dogs are hot on his trail
Coptors, fire rockets, we are losing his trail
We cannot let this plan fail
The dogs are hot on his trail
Ingmar Bergman:
I’ve got to run, I’ve got to run!
Policeman 1:
Helicoptor Number One, we see him, I’m sure
The visibility’s poor
But he just can’t run much more.
Fire rockets, he won’t know what hit him, I’m sure
Before he reaches the shore
A little afternoon gore.
Captain fire rockets we are losing his trail
We cannot let this plan fail
The dogs are hot on his trail,
The Studio Chief:
This is Mr. Weiss, yes, yes, the studio chief
I sit in stunned disbelief
That Bergman’s causing you grief.
Hollywood’s in dire need of what he can bring
But it will not mean a thing
If he is dead, that’s the thing.
Still, we can’t allow him to go back where he came
And though we’d relish his name
He can’t go back where he came.
Summing up, alive is best, but if there’s no choice
Though we can’t gloat and rejoice
Well there just might be no choice.
Summing up, alive is best, but if there’s no choice
Though we can’t gloat and rejoice
Well there just might be no choice.
Ingmar Bergman:
This is insane. I sense, though, that I’m close to the shore. Why should that feel like a relief?

Ingmar Bergman:
At last, the Pacific Ocean. How far does the territory of Hollywood extend? Anyway, I think I’m safe for now. But I need to escape this man-made Hell and return to my home. I need a savior.
Oh, my God
Do you exist
Oh, my God
Do you exist
Do you exist, do you exist, do you exist, do you exist
Oh, my God
Prove you exist
Oh, my God
If you exist
If you exist, prove you exist, show you exist, if you exist
Send an angel down to lead
Lead me from this barren land
How the Hell can I believe
If you withhold your guiding hand
Oh, my God
Do you exist
Oh, my God
Do you exist
Do you exist, do you exist, do you exist, do you exist
Oh, my God
Prove you exist
Oh, my God
If you exist
If you exist, prove you exist, show you exist, if you exist
Oh, my God
Do you exist
Oh, my God
Do you exist
Send an angel down to lead
Lead me from this barren land
How the Hell can I believe
If you withhold your guiding hand

Ingmar Bergman:
I’m waiting
I’m waiting
I’m waiting
I’m waiting
I’m not alone on the beach
A statuesque woman is walking towards me
I recognize her
I don’t know if this is really Greta Garbo any more than I know that this is really Hollywood
(To the woman). ”If it’s not too personal of a question, are you really Greta Garbo?”
Greta Garbo:
I’m going to turn you ‘round
And I won’t let you down
I’m going to turn you ‘round, and I won’t let you down, and I won’t let you down
I’m here to guide you home
To somewhere monochrome
But somewhere you will be
A certain kind of free
Dear Ingmar, follow me
You know that you’d be lost without me
You know that you’d be lost without me
You know that you’d be lost without me
Don’t question me tonight
You really look a sight
But soon you’ll have the chance
To give the Bergman glance
To Swedish girls again
A little ways away
A motion picture plays
A film I made when I
Was under Swedish skies
A rising Swedish star
A rising Swedish star
There is a small movie theater near here that is playing the film that transformed me and I know it will transform you. Will you be my date, dear Ingmar, to see The Story of Gosta Berling, the Swedish film that made me a star? I think you will find it powerful and in ways you might not imagine. Let’s walk. The movie theater isn’t very far.
You know that you’d be lost without me
You know that you’d be lost without me
You know that you’d be lost without me

Ingmar Bergman:
And as Garbo and I entered the theater, I felt a sense of both calm and expectation.
You, dear listener, have been very patient with me.
Thank you for listening to my story.
You may be relieved to know the story is soon coming to an end.
What is strange is that the story has almost a Hollywood ending.
A Hollywood ending!
I sat in the dark with Miss Garbo and watched her glorious Swedish film, the two of us alone in the small theater.
And when the film was over and the lights went on, she was gone.
I slowly walked toward the exit and out onto the street.
A familiar street.
A street in Sweden.

The Happy Swedish People:
He’s home, he’s home, and we’re so glad
No fireworks, no marching band
But old and young, rejoice and cheer
Without him here, we’re barely here
And the seduction failed
As anyone can see
They mispronounced his name
But here at home he’s he
Come one, come all, and shout “hooray”
Our Ingmar is home today
He looks the same, no sign of tan
And in the rain, he’s right again
And the seduction failed
As anyone can see
They mispronounced his name
But here at home he’s he
Bergman, Bergman, Bergman, Bergman,
Bergman, Bergman, Bergman, Bergman,
We’d sit and wait while he was gone
The night would come, and then the dawn
Without the depth that Bergman brought
Our lives were just an afterthought
And the seduction failed
As anyone can see
They mispronounced his name
But here at home he’s he
He turns our thoughts to something deep
And make us laugh and make us weep
The unexamined life they say
Is not worth living, well, O.K.
Ah, but Bergman well, he examines all
And most of all himself,
Good night, that’s all.
Ingmar Bergman:
Good night, that’s all.